Is Attending Non-Sunnah Weddings Permissible? Evidence of Boycott

Our religious leaders often emphasize the obligation of accepting invitations to eat.  They seldom explain which invitations should be accepted and which should not. Today the majority of weddings are often filled with practices that contradict Islamic teachings, and ironically, the same religious leaders who criticize dowry and extravagant feasts in their speeches provide a back-door permission by saying, “If the girl’s family is giving it with consent (KHUSHI SE), it is permissible.” It is important to understand that just as attending certain invitations is part of Islamic teachings, abstaining from some invitations is equally a requirement of Shariah. The following are the arguments in support of boycotting such weddings:

I. Attending where evil persists is forbidden unless one can stop it

According to Sheikh Muhammad ibn Salih al-Uthaymeen, if there is wrongdoing at an event and one cannot stop it, attending is prohibited (Islamqa.info/ur/answers/22006).

II. Consult your conscience 

حدیث : استفت قلبك ولو أفتاك الناس

The Hadith states: “Consult your heart (Conscience), even if people give you a fatwa (against you)” (Imam Ahmad 17545, 40 Hadith Nawawi, Al-Albani’s Sahih Targhib 1734). Ask yourself if the Prophet ﷺ would approve of being present at a wedding that includes practices like dowry, music, fireworks, and excessive extravagance. If not, can you justify your attendance ?

III. Imitation of non-Muslim practices is prohibited:

من تشبہ بقوم فھومنھم ۔ حدیث

The hadith says: “Whoever imitates others, other than Islamic culture, is one of them” (Sunan Abu Dawood, Book of Dress, 4031). The majority of scholars agree that customs like dowry, Dinner on Nikah day (Baraat), and engagement parties are imitations of idol-worshippers. Participating in these is akin to celebrating Valentine’s Day or Christmas, which is not permissible.

IV. Do not assist in sin

وَتَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْبِرِّ وَالتَّقْوَى وَلَا تَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْإِثْمِ وَالْعُدْوَانِ سورہ مائدہ آیت 2

The Qur’an commands: “Help each other in righteousness and piety, but do not help in sin and transgression”. The social harm caused by lavish weddings is evident, and those who accept invitations to such events contribute to this harm, thereby accepting such invitations and attending is disobeying the Qur’anic injunction.

V. Opposing evil is a sign of faith

The hadith says: “Whoever among you sees an evil must stop it with his hand, if not possible then with his tongue, and if not possible, then with his heart, and that is the weakest form of faith” (Muslim 49). Ignoring the prevalent wrongdoings in today’s weddings and smilingly accepting invitations reflects a form of hypocrisy.

VI .The Prophet s.a., boycotted his own daughter’s invitation

Once, the Prophet ﷺ visited the home of Hazrat Ali and Hazrat Fatimah but left immediately upon seeing a decorated curtain, stating, “The Prophets do not enter a house where there is luxury and decoration” (Sunan Abu Dawood 3755, Ibn Majah 3360, Musnad Ahmad 220-222).

VII. Boycott feasts of those who do it for honor, dignity, status, show-off and competition

The Prophet ﷺ forbade accepting food from those who display extravagance for the sake of competition (Abu Dawood 3754, Mishkat Volume 2, Page 279). Attending such weddings reinforces the culture of showing off, which harms society.

VIII. Avoid invitations where prohibited acts occur

حدیث: من کان یومن باللہِ والیوم الآخر فلاتقعد علی مائدۃ تدارعلیھا The Hadith says: (Reported by Abdullah Ibn Abbas) The prophet has prohibited us from eating where the wine is served.  

Based on the principles of jurisprudence (Tahqeeq-e-Mana), this prohibition is not limited to wine only but applies to every impermissible thing  like Music, dances, fireworks, un-Islmaic customs of weddings, etc. (Musnad Ahmad, Halal and Haram in Islam by Yusuf al-Qaradawi).

IX. How Sahaba would boycott where they see un-Islamic activities

When Abu Wa’il saw music and dancing at a gathering, he immediately left, stating that music breeds hypocrisy in the heart (Sunan Abu Dawood, Book of Manners). 

لاندخل ولیمۃ فیھا طبل والامعزات (آپ کے مسائل ازمبشراحمد، آداب الزفاف الشیخ البانی صفحہ166 )

Imam Awza’i says we would never enter a feast where there are drums and musical instruments.

X. How Sahaba would react on seeing vanity

When Abdullah bin Umar saw curtains hanging in a wedding, he angrily questioned the host “How come you brought Kaaba in your home?” then ordered his companions to tear down the curtains and left the gathering. 

Huzayfah bin al-Yaman noticed the hosts of a Walima feast  had dressed un-Islamic clothe. He left the party and said whoever will imitate others, he will be one of them.  (Ibn Taymiyyah, Iqtida Sirat al-Mustaqeem).

XI. Not only bocott but slap the host too

Ahmad ibn Hanbal left a gathering when he saw silver-plated chairs, deeming it an imitation of fire-worshipping Persians. The host came behind to stop him, he slapped him and said “it is imitation of Zorastrians (fire worshippers of Iran). This shows that our scholars and ancestors did not just boycott such gatherings but even had the courage to rebuke the hosts.

XII. Fatwas from contemporary scholars

Mufti Khalil Ahmad, Sheikh al-Jami’a of Nizamia, Hyderabad, issued a fatwa stating that accepting a Walimah invitation is a confirmed Sunnah only if it is free from frivolities and prohibited acts (Shami, Kitab al-Hazar wal-Ibaha, 241). If people learns of wrongdoing beforehand, they should not attend; if discovered on entering only, they should leave immediately (Siasat, 21 September 2011). He instructed Ulama and Mashaekh to follow in particular. 

XIII. People cheat other in the name of KHUSHI SE

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَأْكُلُوا أَمْوَالَكُمْ بَيْنَكُمْ بِالْبَاطِلِ (بقرہ ۱۸۸)

Quran says “Do not eat your own wealth together with others by way of cheating. 

Many claim they give dowry and host extravagant feasts with consent while the fact is that everyone know the dowry and dinner are not by consent but due to a social blackmail only. Accepting such invitations is akin to consuming wealth through deceit.

XIV. Final Call

The arguments presented should suffice for those with a living conscience. These reasons are enough for those who truly fear accountability in the Hereafter to abstain from such practices. However, for those deeply entrenched in these cultural norms, no amount of reasoning will change their stance.

Thus, the essential question remains: Is it 100% obligatory to follow the complete Sunnah in all wedding ceremonies, or is there room for practicing certain percentage of non-Islamic traditions too? If complete adherence to the Sunnah is required, then attending such weddings is impermissible. However, if one believes that it is acceptable to mix Islamic and non-Islamic traditions, then they may continue as before.

Since our religious gurus declare fatwas on other issues like Talaq, wine etc but avoid declaring the correct Sharai stand on such invitations. Instead they escape by using a word “SHOULD” (People SHOULD avoid Dowry, SHOULD avoid extravagance, SHOULD not do this and that). Instead of SHOULDs they should give one word straight answer of:

Is attending these non-Sunnah weddings legitimae or not?

By: Aleem Khan Falaki

President, Social Reforms Society of India

Hyderabad

9642571721